Real Advice For Real People

There’s No Care like self-care

It’s amazing how busy our society has become.  Between phone calls, texts, emails, and the internet, it’s no short wonder our physical health gets put on the back-burner.

But if you’re facing some type of emotional turmoil like a breakup, separation, or divorce, this is a most critical time to dive into self-care.

In my practice, clients will often lament about their feelings and emotions.  And I get it—I have been there myself.  However, I’m quick to ask them what they are doing in the realm of self-care.

Our conversations can sound something like this:

Client: “I can’t believe he said this”, or, “can you believe the nerve”, or—one of my favorites—”why is he/she doing this”?

Me: “So, when was the last time you went for a swim, or did yoga, or rode your bicycle”?

Don’t get me wrong- I listen intently to my clients, and we work together to co-actively and proactively resolve these confusing and painful feelings.

But what I won’t allow is for their growth and recovery to take place all within the mind…oh, no…the body has to get involved as well.

So, again, if you’re going through something, and that something is occupying your mind, it’s time to enlist the body.

Why Is This Important?

Because at a deep cellular and spiritual level, they’re connected.  What the body experiences is felt in the mind, and what the mind thinks and feels impacts the body.  One of my primary jobs as a coach is to get my clients to synergistically unite (and therefore ignite) the mind…. and the body.

BoomShakka!! Get ready to grow!!

Suggestions For Self-Care

Take a moment and think back.  What were some things from your youth that really brought you joy.  Perhaps it’s time to re-discover an activity from your childhood.

It could be swimming, biking, tennis, baseball, softball, or hiking.

Here’s the deal- if it moves your body and puts a smile on your face, then you’re on the right track.  If it makes you feel like a kid again, then you’re really onto something!!

The idea is to get re-acquainted with forms of physical play that can help you stabilize emotionally.

I really like activities like softball, bowling, and tennis.  These types of team sports get you around other people and that can be quite healing. Now is no time for isolation even if that’s what you feel like doing.

And one other thing- I’m a big fan of going to the gym, biking, and swimming, but since you’re doing them somewhat alone, it’s easier to get caught in your head and start ruminating about your situation….and you don’t want to spend all your time there, do you?

Stretch, Grow, Become

Get a pen and some paper right now.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Write out 10 activities that you remember feeling good about.  If absolutely nothing comes to mind, list 10 things that you’ve never done but have always wanted to.

Contact two of these immediately.  Seriously.  Like, right now.

Even if its 11:30 pm on a Wednesday night- email these places and express your interest.  If it’s a YMCA and they have a softball league and you’ve always wanted to get back into it, just email them and tell them you’re excited and you’d love for them to call you back tomorrow when they open.

Don’t overthink it, take action! 

I want you to put closure on this day with the mental and spiritual anchor that you matter-all parts of you- both mind and body!

Book a time to do the activity and show up.  That’s it, just show up.

Place no attachment on what you might get out of the activity, or how you hope it will turn out.  Just show up and enjoy the journey- one day at a time.

So, what did you come up with?  What are your Top Three?  Let us know down below in the comment section- the Tribe awaits.

Change isn’t easy.  If it was, everyone would be living the dream.  Having a coach who takes people from where they are to where they want to be makes all the difference.  

Copyright © 2012   Scott Milnes   All Rights Reserved

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