It’s interesting that with all the safeguards our society has in place, there are very few for relationships. Let me explain. For example, in the state of California, it is illegal and therefore non-binding to sell a motor vehicle to someone who is showing obvious signs of intoxication. In other words, our lawmakers have decided that it’s unethical to sell cars to drunk people.
Good Decisions Require a sober mind
And that makes sense—could you imagine a car dealership with a full bar, a DJ, and a dance floor? People make enough ill-fated financial decisions at car dealerships without having to add alcohol to the mix.
But in order for there to be a law now, there were at at one time circumstances that indicated a need for that law. Ostensibly, there were automobile dealers “lubricating” the sales process with alcohol—and some customers weren’t happy with the results. I’m sure people would wake up the next day, look in their driveway, and begin shouting: “I bought a what??!!….and I paid how much??!!”
But it’s shocking how people (not all, of course, but some) go to bars, have a couple drinks (or more), and then begin “shopping” for their next relationship.
My friends, they don’t call ‘em beer goggles for nothing!
It’s a fact: alcohol blurs your vision—both physically and spiritually.
Alcohol and bad decisions go hand in hand
If there was ever a time that you need all your mental and spiritual faculties at the ready, it’s clearly when looking for a lifelong partner. Simply put, alcohol greatly increases the odds of a bad decision.
Many of you know my testimony of how I embraced a season of singlehood after I went through a bewildering breakup. When I eventually re-entered the dating pool, I was intent on “staying sharp and sober” throughout all my dating adventures.
Because I understood at a deep level the critical importance of clear-eyed discernment. If you’re serious about finding authentic lasting love, don’t ignore this advice.
Stretch, grow, become
Commit to the path of “sober dating.” Avoid alcohol during courtship and exponentially increase your chances of choosing wisely. Clear mind = Clear eyes!
If the phrase “no alcohol during dating” seems like a total non-possibility, take a look at that. What role does alcohol play in your life? Are you using it to bolster confidence, decrease fears, or avoid the hard work of authentic sharing and intimacy? If so, do the work—and change your relationship with alcohol. Do the self-care that you need to embrace your Successful Singlehood so that you don’t need to use alcohol as a crutch.
Have fun! Dating without alcohol gives you the opportunity to get to know the real person. And there are a ton of fun sober-date ideas: hiking, mountain biking, going out for lunch, going to an amusement park, or surfing!
In your dating adventures you’re bound to encounter a variety of “interesting characters.” I can assure you that if you maintain a sober dating philosophy, you’ll recognize the red flags much, much sooner and move on with clarity.
Change isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would be living the dream. Having a coach who takes people from where they are to where they want to be makes all the difference. Call me today to learn more.
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